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Bullies, Cyberbullies and Frenemies (Teen Life Confidential) ISBN: 9780750272148
Elliott, Michelle and Venning, Harry
Published by Wayland (Publishers) Ltd, 2013
This book, written by Michele Elliot, founder of Kidscape, will prove invaluable to older children who are being bullied In forthright terms and with comic style illustrations, we learn lots about bullies, how they work and what sorts of coping strategies work best. Elliott starts by explaining the different kinds of bullying: verbal, physical, silent, emotional, homophobic, 'frenemy' (an interesting combination of friend/enemy),and cyberbullying. The rest of this first chapter contains short sections such as: Where and when does bullying happen? Do boys and girls bully in the same way? What is the difference between teasing and bullying? Chapter two tells us what to do if we are being bullied. It explains about anti-bullying policies which every school must have by law and goes on to give lots of excellent strategies for getting help and helping yourself. Thoughts of suicide and developing eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia due to bullying are explained as natural but need help immediately. There is a good summary at the end of the chapter of the four most important things to do if being bullied. Chapter three is about bullies - how they feel, why they do it, how they can stop. Chapter four explains self-assertiveness and why both passive and aggressive personalities need to learn it. Some responses to bullies demands are given and much is made of the fact that short, positive answers will do the most good. For instance, when sweets are demanded, try saying, 'Okay, but I've licked most of them'. Brilliant! Sections on relaxing and posture are helpful, and then there is a long section on bullies learning to control their anger and be assertive in positive ways. Chapter five on making friends emphasises that you must make friends with yourself before you can make friends with others. This means finding out all the good things you have to offer, perhaps joining a club or doing volunteer work, or learning a martial art. Making a list of the things you might like in a friend could help, and also being honest about your own personality traits that might need changing. The final chapter, chapter six, gives us questionnaires, exercises to help us find out more about ourselves. It is suggested (wisely) that we probably shouldn't show our answers to friends, but rather to a trusted adult or parent if we feel the need. Finally, there is a list of further books about bullying, a list of charities who can help, and an index. Many, many examples of children, both bullies and victims, are given, which adds reality to the advice. This splendid book belongs in every school library!
Age: 10+
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